Ever since I left home in the Philippines at the age of 21, I’ve constantly questioned what the word “home” meant. Is it a structure? The people? The food? The culture? Or does home mean something different altogether?

All my life I’ve felt like I was running. Running for adventure, running to something new. Traveling has always been a major aspect in my life, and I’ve learned so much about myself and the world around me. My experiences, just like the locations on my map, are vast and widespread. Leaving home in the Philippines was just second nature to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my country. I love my family, my friends, the food, and the culture, although I could do without the dirty politics and government. But the itch to travel and expand my mind was just something I couldn’t pass up. Change and freedom were what I craved.

Moving breaks up the monotony and gives you freedom

When you move, you’re forced to try new things that can be totally strange. Your curiosity increases, your creativity improves, and a childlike amazement is poured over your entire being at all times. Everything you do, you’re doing for the very first time. Living abroad is the ultimate break from your monotonous, otherwise boring life. Does that mean “home” is predictable, routine? Being stuck in one place all the time? Maybe.

When you’re “home,” it feels like there’s a set of rules that must be followed. Every. Single. Day. But moving grants you the freedom to do whatever you want, to live on your own terms, and discover your place in this world. The world we live in is vast, full of possibilities, and the number of opportunities we face enables us to achieve great things, things we would never have imagined otherwise. Having to live independently in a foreign country is a world of a difference than falling into the known and familiar of “home.” Your ability to adapt to an unconventional lifestyle helps stimulate inner growth in an extra special way – by taking yourself out of your comfort zone.

Getting out of your comfort zone to create the best version of you

Living abroad presents challenges that take me out of my comfort zone. “Home” may have its challenges, but living abroad is a whole different animal. You’re forced to think outside that box, to do things on your own without any help from the people you know. And guess what? I’ve overcome these challenges every time. The feeling of accomplishment I get is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Challenges are essential to my life. I need experiences that stretch my patience and my abilities to the limit. Getting out of my “home” and exposing myself to amazing experiences like speaking in a different language or climbing a mountain to its peak is the way I keep my heart pumping.

“Home” often means seeing the same people. Over and over and over again. Living abroad requires being in contact with people from other cultures. It presents me with different outlooks and values. I might be different from them, we may disagree, and debates might occur, but it forces me to be open minded. My way isn’t the only way. I’ve realized that exposing myself to people of completely different walks of life from my own has made me more intelligent. My mental abilities have expanded, just by living in different societies that differ from “home.”

The pursuit of happiness and learning who I really am

“Home” is not new and bizarre, two things I’m a sucker for. As an eternally curious individual, I’m always on the lookout for new knowledge, information, and basically anything that will blow my mind. You may call it the pursuit of happiness. I call it the pursuit of life itself. 

Not only has traveling allowed me to learn more about life and the people around me, I’ve also learned more about myself. Leaving “home” means constantly being confronted with unfamiliar and difficult life situations. By paying attention to how I react in a certain circumstance, I get a chance to unveil my qualities and better realize what I truly stand for. After all of these years of traveling, I now understand who I am as an independent and self-sufficient person. And that’s a pretty beautiful thing.

You know what else is beautiful? The world itself. Life is beautiful. If I was “home,” I never would have discovered this. Having lived abroad for years now, I’ve learned humility and have been utterly amazed by the complexity of the world we live in. We’re all unimaginably small; fleeting specks inside an immeasurable universe. Just the thought of this can bring tears to my eyes. Traveling and understanding this has put me in the right state of mind, slapping me across the face all at the same time. It encourages me to truly understand the small reality I live in relation to the grander parts of creation itself. Knowing what I know now, I live my life with so much passion. I’m motivated to achieve my goals, live more purposefully, and open myself to a wider range of life experiences that will help me become an even better person.

Coming back to the Philippines

These are all the things I’ve learned being away from “home.” But now, I’m back home in the Philippines and have been for the past 70 days, which is the longest I’ve stayed in one place for a very long time. While I relearn my way around the city, getting off at the wrong bus stops and asking strangers for directions, I think about how moving back seemed like a great idea: catching up with friends and family, making up for lost time and creating new memories, being back eating the amazing food I always missed while traveling. When people ask if I’m happy to be back, I answer with a quick “Yes! But…” The “but” is what gets me. There are so many… I already can’t wait to leave again and look for a new home. I already want a change in scenery, a place where people don’t speak my native language. Hit the reset button and experience everything again for the very first time.

My friends and family expect this. They know how much my traveling has changed me. After years living away from “home,” learning a new language, adopting new habits, and becoming part of a new culture, it’s impossible to come back as the same person who left so long ago. Dare I say, I just don’t feel at home at “home” anymore. Values have changed, and the things that used to matter to me simply don’t anymore. It no longer feels natural to be here. It might be too early to say, it might be a quarter-life crisis, it might just be the truth.

One thing’s for sure though… the more I spend time at home, the more I realize I don’t fit in anymore. I love my home country, and I love my family and friends more than anything, but my experiences have made me so different from them, and I know I’ll never be the same again. There are good and bad things about this. I now know who my true friends are – the ones who’ve stuck by my side, even when I came back a different person. My family still supports and loves me. The love that I have for my family and friends doesn’t change the fact that I feel out of place in my own country, my own “home.”

So, what does “home” mean?

The true meaning of “home”

After all of these years, I’ve learned that home is everywhere. It’s not a place, or a structure, and it never will be. To me, home is where both my heart and my mind are at peace. A feeling, a state of mind. It could be anywhere. Home is where my heart gets filled with warmth and bliss.

Home is meeting people of different ages, with different stories, coming from different places. It isn’t bound by city limits or street signs. It’s the sight of glorious skies and soaring birds. It’s standing on top of a cliff with golden rays of sunshine cast over me as I view the peaks below.

It’s not about a disloyalty or hatred toward my country. It’s about my intense urge to continue learning and moving. It’s all I think about: how I’m going to get from point A to point B, and what comes after that. It’s about not getting stuck in one place. Breaking out of my “home” and traveling the world filled my soul with so much joy that I never knew I could feel. Embracing the decision to move away from my homeland couldn’t have put me in a better mindset. It made me appreciate life that much more.

What’s next?

Now that I’ve left Dubai, changed my mind about moving back to South Africa, and with my European trip soon approaching, I’m reminded of all my options. I could move to another city, work in a new country, maybe even teach English in South America like I always dreamed of, or even work remotely for a year or two. Nonetheless, I’ll be working on bettering myself and learning more about the world around me.

As for my family, they will always be my “home.” In my heart, in my mind. Despite the fact that I must leave them again, exploring foreign lands is the reason I’ve become who I am today, and I’m not ready to give that up.

My definition of home might not be the same as yours. And that’s okay. My story is mine, and you have yours, and that’s beautiful. Every life has a different purpose, a different goal. We’re all living life on our own timeline, and I’ve worked to achieve my own success and discover my purpose in life. You can do the same, too.

Just keep going.